Featuure

"Irish" Author Frank McCourt X-Posed!!!

"Irish" author Frank McCourt (author of 'Tis and Angela's Ashes sure has taken the world by storm. But is he really who we think he is?

Cho Choo Clown challenges "McCourt" to prove that he is who he wants us to believe he is by proving that he is Irish right here, right now on the INTERNET! (Please note that due to the Constitution(United States)'s First Amendment Choo Choo CLown has no choice but to keep secret from prying eyes its sources in this story as a protection of it's jounalistic integrity.)

Reliable sources close to this affable "Irishman" (FranK McCourt) indicate that he is actually named Bernard Goodspeed, and was born in 1944 in St. Petersburg, Florida. "McCourt" / Goodspeed graduated from Southwestern Florida University in 1966 by some accounts and went on to tend bar at various "Spring Break hotspots along Florida's Atlantic" coast during the wild years of the 1960s and 70s, when Florida, as is well known, was a hotbed of political apathy and conservativism.

"McCourt" in 1987

It was likely during this time that "McCourt" / Goodspeed picked up the knowledge of the Irish language and accent that he tends to employ with such devastating effect today on the young ladies of the United States by all accounts in his role as "Professor of Writing" at various well-heeled institutions willing to support this wretched and exploitative charlatan. Most barflies would agree that bartenders with genuine Irish-sounding accents in their voices possibly earn heftier tips from the naive and ill-informed patrons that frequent such bars, especially nubile young co-eds such as those girls preyed upon by "McCourt" / Goodspeed on the Atlantic coast during the politiical ferment of the 1960 and 70s in Florida.

How this man (by now, in 1986, employing the name "Frank McCourt") parlayed his natural huckstering skills into an out-of-bounds success in the literary scene such as hasn't been seen since F. Scott Fitzgerald's (earlier) meteoric and rapid rise to fame in the 1920s of this century. Turning up in New York, the well-known center of New York's publishing scene, McCourt hustled his way into a "lucrative" according to a Choo Choo informant who must remain nameless contract allowing him to fabricate memories of a false childhood taking place in the grimy and industrial Irish city of Limerick, from whence also the well-known poem of the same name springs hence the literary underpinnings to which McCourt would hitch his fraigle and false beginnings of his career as a man of letters.

From here things wnet from good to better for "Frank MCourt" including his well-publicized friendship with Oprah Winfrey of "The Orpah Winfrey Show" fame, and his complete hoodwinking of actual Irish authors Edna O'Brien and John McGahern, who sadly haven't taken the minimal amount of time required that